Mental health professionals are not supposed to lose a friend or family member to suicide. We are supposed to know the signs, respond appropriately, and prevent it. Despite the fact that about 20% of therapists will lose a client to suicide during their life of practice, we rarely talk about it. However, I have to report the sad news that I did just that. Literally a month after I completed the Mental Health First Aide certification and within a year of presenting a professional workshop on suicide prevention, my good friend died by suicide. She had been my friend for 35 years.
I can truly say she was the most loving and optimistic person I knew. She was married and had an adult daughter whom she loved deeply. Her marriage, although it had the usual bumps, was well on its way to a second wind. She was a person whom I often put forth as a role model of how to manage the illness of depression in a successful manner. She ate healthy food, exercised regularly, completed a course on mindfulness, and took her medication. She never had an incidence of self-harm. She had no previous suicide attempts and had never said a word that would indicate that she was thinking of suicide or death.
So when I first responded to this news, I went through all the normal reactions: shock, sadness, and anger. I talked about not suspecting a thing. I talked about seeing her two weeks before her death and thinking everything was great. She had plans for the future and she had things she was looking forward to. She had none of the signs (previous attempts, history of self-harm, lack of future thinking, comments about death or suicide) that we, as mental health professionals, are told to look for.
But I couldn’t let it go. The same thoughts woke me up in the morning and I wrestled with them before bed each night. What had I missed? What could I have done differently? Finally, I had to face the truth. There had been signs of trouble. I did not see them as threats. Sometimes I felt irritated by them. Other times, I felt slightly embarrassed for her. I know this is codependent but I am being completely honest here. I did not call it out directly or sneakily worm those concerns into our conversations. As much as I want to deny it, me - a mental health professional, was shamed into denial of mental health problems.
What did I see? Well for one thing, she had crying spells without cause. She was hanging into specific regrets over long past events that did not happen the way she believed they did. She shared feelings indicating a sense of being disconnected. She was worried about being forgetful. She was not sleeping well. Yet, I was silent. I did not point out my observations to her or her family. I did not suggest action or take any action myself.
I keep reviewing the steps she must have taken as she made her plan to die. I continue to deny that this could really have been her desire. She would never have wanted to hurt me, her family, or her friends. I have struggled daily to understand. The only way I can put her suicide together with the person she was, is to think of her behaviors that day as a brain attack.
I know I am not responsible for her death; I am not that codependent. However, was it possible to have intervened in some way? Was I as good of a friend to her as she was to me? It is certainly true that if I had intervened, she could have died by suicide anyway, or possibly sooner. The road to anxiety is paved with possibilities. And obviously, there is no going back. But mostly, I just want to scream at myself and the world: the brain is just another organ that gets sick. It gets sick like a kidney or a lung. Sadly we, as a society, have no way of managing that.
Going forward, I have made these promises to myself. I will always talk openly about mental health regardless of how uncomfortable it is. I have made it clear to my friends and family that I want complete honesty if they have questions about my mental health or cognitive function. I will speak up if I see changes in cognition among friends and family. I will ask the hard questions whenever I see any potential for suicide, including indications cited in the interpersonal theory of suicide. I will renew my faith in the power of connection with others to bridge these gaps in comfort. I will learn to get more comfortable with the fact that all of our organs can suffer from imperfection, change, and age.
Libby Bergman, LICSW, was one of three co-founders of the Family Enhancement Center and has served as the Executive Director since 2000. Libby has worked with youth and families for over 25 years. Libby was the recipient of the 2011 Children’s Law Center of Minnesota’s Heroes for Children Award. She was honored again in 2013 with the University of Minnesota School of Social Work Alumna of the Year.
Horn, P. J. (1994). Therapists' psychological adaptation to client suicide. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 31(1), 190-195.
Jordan, J. R. (2001). Is Suicide Bereavement Different? A Reassessment of the Literature. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior 31(1), 91-102.
McAdams, C. R., III; Foster, V. A. (April, 2000). Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 107-121.
Van Orden, K. A., Witte, T. K., Cukrowicz, K. C., Braithwaite, S. R., Selby, E. A., & Joiner, T. E., Jr. (2010). The interpersonal theory of suicide. Psychological Review, 117(2), 575-600.
My name is Amelia Jonathan from the United States, Using this opportunity to thank Dr. Ughulu is a grateful thing to me, for over years I have been sick with Hepatitis B disease, I have done a lot of things to get cured of my diseases and nothing has worked out. I have taken different types of medication for it , but it still doesn't work for me. I still keep going for a check up so that the doctor will tell me my disease has gone, because i'm taking my medicine with no result nothing has been cured, I have spent a lot of money just to get cure of Hepatitis B. until my old time friend came to my place and saw what am going through, and then direct me to contact Dr. Ughulu who is a very powerful man, which I did explain my problem to Dr. Ughulu and send me a herbal remedy bottle and explain to me how I should drink it. So I started to drink the herbal tea in one week that I drink the herbal tea. I went for a check up to check if I’m cured from Hepatitis B disease, then the nurse told me nothing is wrong with me anymore and said I'm fine. I am the happiest person right now. I promise Dr Ughulu I will testify about his good work on the internet. Reach out to Dr. Ughulu Via: [email protected] Thank you so much sir for what you did for me you're the best of all. TEXT OR CALL: +1(252) 409-1841 or website: https://drughulupowerfulsp.wixsite.com/my-site-ughulu
My name is Amelia Jonathan from the United States, Using this opportunity to thank Dr. Ughulu is a grateful thing to me, for over years I have been sick with Hepatitis B disease, I have done a lot of things to get cured of my diseases and nothing has worked out. I have taken different types of medication for it , but it still doesn't work for me. I still keep going for a check up so that the doctor will tell me my disease has gone, because i'm taking my medicine with no result nothing has been cured, I have spent a lot of money just to get cure of Hepatitis B. until my old time friend came to my place and saw what am going through, and then direct me to contact Dr. Ughulu who is a very powerful man, which I did explain my problem to Dr. Ughulu and send me a herbal remedy bottle and explain to me how I should drink it. So I started to drink the herbal tea in one week that I drink the herbal tea. I went for a check up to check if I’m cured from Hepatitis B disease, then the nurse told me nothing is wrong with me anymore and said I'm fine. I am the happiest person right now. I promise Dr Ughulu I will testify about his good work on the internet. Reach out to Dr. Ughulu Via: [email protected] Thank you so much sir for what you did for me you're the best of all. TEXT OR CALL: +1(252) 409-1841 or website: https://drughulupowerfulsp.wixsite.com/my-site-ughulu
CONTACT JUDAS FOR YOUR CRYPTO CURRENCY/ BTC RECOVERY AND MANY MORE I was at the verge of giving up on all hopes of finding any real solution or at least answers to my crypto issues when I first came across and read an article about HACKER JUDAS. It was truly becoming exhaustively frustrating when I started having troubles accessing my bitcoin wallet for weeks; but kept receiving email notifications of transactions I know nothing about; and then even got worse and tension rising after I discovered I wasn't getting much help other than formalities from the wallet company, even after their estimated wait period elapsed. Sceptical, but having not more to lose, I contacted HACKER JUDAS and explained all of my problems to them in details, also providing related messages as proofs and verifications. Though hoping for solution, I was truthfully bracing up for another round of disappointments as I couldn't help comprehend in totality, the complexity of the processes explained by their agent RON who was very professional and patient to explain repeatedly. Very happily and satisfactorily, HACKER JUDAS didn't only help me gain access back to my wallet, also they were able to recover my balance back to the last cent. You can contact for any consultation/services: E MA IL : hack er judas 9@gma il . Co m CONTACT: +1{807} 500 2291
Hello am Avalynm Brennan, and I'm currently a student here in Manchester. Recently, I found myself in a distressing situation that many might relate to. I was scammed out of £187,000 through a fraudulent forex trading scheme. It was an incredibly tough time, and I felt completely overwhelmed and helpless. The scam was sophisticated and convincing, which made it even more difficult to accept the reality of being deceived. For a while, I didn't know where to turn or what steps to take. I spent countless hours researching ways to recover my funds and contacting various authorities and organizations. Most avenues seemed fruitless, and my hope began to wane. However, my situation changed when I reached out to a firm called TRUST GEEKS HACK EXPERT. From the moment I contacted them, I was met with professionalism and understanding. They took the time to listen to my story, assess the details of the scam, and explain the recovery process. Their expertise and reassurance provided a glimmer of hope when I had almost lost it entirely. TRUST GEEKS HACK EXPERT has a team of specialists skilled in dealing with such complex financial fraud cases. They were able to navigate the intricate details of my situation and took prompt action to recover my investment. What stood out the most about TRUST GEEKS HACK EXPERT was their commitment to keeping me informed throughout the process. They provided regular updates, answered all my questions with patience, and offered valuable guidance on how to avoid such scams in the future. Their transparency and dedication were instrumental in regaining my trust and confidence. In a remarkably short time, TRUST GEEKS HACK EXPERT successfully recovered my entire investment of £187,000. This outcome was beyond what I had hoped for, and it restored not only my financial situation but also my faith in the possibility of justice and recovery. Their services were exceptional, and their expertise was demonstrated through their efficient and effective handling of my case. If you find yourself in a similar situation, feeling lost or defrauded, I highly recommend contacting TRUST GEEKS HACK EXPERT. They have the skills and resources needed to tackle such cases and provide the support necessary to navigate through the aftermath of a scam. My experience with them was incredibly positive, and I am grateful for their assistance in resolving what seemed like an insurmountable problem. With their help, I was able to move past the ordeal and regain control over my financial well-being. TRUST EEKS HACK EXPERT support team is available 24/7 You can reach out to them Website https://trustgeekshackexpert.com/-- E>mail: trustgeekshackexpert{@}fastservice{.}com -- TeleGram, Trustgeekshackexpert
GET RICH WITH BLANK ATM CARD, Whatsapp: +18033921735 I want to testify about Dark Web blank atm cards which can withdraw money from any atm machines around the world. I was very poor before and have no job. I saw so many testimony about how Dark Web Online Hackers send them the atm blank card and use it to collect money in any atm machine and become rich {[email protected]} I email them also and they sent me the blank atm card. I have use it to get 500,000 dollars. withdraw the maximum of 5,000 USD daily. Dark Web is giving out the card just to help the poor. Hack and take money directly from any atm machine vault with the use of atm programmed card which runs in automatic mode. You can also contact them for the service below * Western Union/MoneyGram Transfer * Bank Transfer * PayPal / Skrill Transfer * Crypto Mining * CashApp Transfer * Bitcoin Loans * Recover Stolen/Missing Crypto/Funds/Assets Email: [email protected] Telegram or WhatsApp: +18033921735 Website: https://darkwebonlinehackers.com